Faiz to Alys June 7, 1951 I am sorry t couldn t write to you earlier but here things happen very slowly It was only today that they gave me some writing paper My friends and I were brought here on the morning of the 4th by a special train How grandly we traveled' We had everything —the only thing missing was a brass band' The moment we boarded the train it felt as if all our troubles had vanished The joy of travelling the pleasure of seeing the world again the elegant meat—so many delightful things happened to us all at once For the first time since that distant day when they suddenly took me away from home we had a really delicious meal—roast chicken pulao fruit cocktail and icecream (Unfortunately I didn t have an appetite ) But the best thing of all was to have some human company—the most cherished thing in the world—something we had been denied for so long Now my mind \1? at peace again ! now feel free to tell you that the last three or four days spent in I ahcue were the most painful days of this imprisonment I realized then—for the first time—that it was wrong to hurt those who love us for the sake of something that might be dear to us and yet not mean anything to them Looked at that way even idealism and principles turn out to be a kind of selfishness For we tend to forget—lost in the pursuit of our principles—what it is that is dear to others And so we hurt their feelings merely to please ourselves Several other things have come to me as a revelation—about myself as well as about others I have discovered in myself a number of weaknesses such as i had never even suspected And i have seen in others aspects of nobility—and of meanness—that had previously gone unnoticed I am grateful for these experiences I think when I leave this place i shall be a more complete person—and also better organized Now I have come to realize that it is better to be content with what one is—that one should not waste time or energy stiuggling to become something that one is not Such efforts bring you nothing but self delusion Anyway as ! was saying no fear has touched my heart since the moment we reached here Of course even earlier I was not really afraid Not only have I not done dnythmg that could remotely be called morally wrong I have done nothing that can be labelled a crime even in the most stnct of legal senses But now 1 don t even feel as though I am in jail unless someone reminds me of it I feel as if I am here of my own free will—that if ever i want to leave no one can stop me Our home in the jail is not bad We have enough to eat It doesn t get too hot either Anyway the worst days are over Whatever else may happen I need not fear being put into solitary confinement again Nor is there any reason to fear further interrogation by the police My life and my self respect are intact Now I can put before me your picture—and the children s—and smile My heart no longer aches thinking of you the way it used to I am now more than ever convinced that in spite of everything life is wonderful—and also very lovely Annual o1 Urdu Studies #5 118