She spent the whole night thinking She asked herself a number of questions Could she think of one night since Sajjad's death that she had fallen asleep without longing for him7 Even sleeping pills didn't help much. A night when the memory of Sajjad's passionate love-making hadn't come to torment her7 Hadn't she suffered enough to just keep herself going She thought about it all, long and hard, and then concluded that Shuja wasn't wrong after all The most important thing was really one's own self. How long, then, would she go on fighting the truth7 "1 give up I admit defeat'" She began to sweat, although she was all alone. The first light of the morning had begun to appear She got up from the bed. After breakfast, Munna and Gurya exchanged kisses with her as usual and hopped on the school bus. Today for some reason she kept looking at the receding bus for the longest time. Then she shut the gate, walked into the room, and plunked herself down into the chair next to the phone, her head dropping. She had to call Shuja and let him know. She lingered for a while, as if looking for the right words to begin, and then she dialed "Hello'" Is that you, Shuja7" It was Shuja all right. Still, she somehow needed to confirm the fact. "Yes, it's me. Shuja, dying for an answer." Her voice seemed to have brightened him up. "I have given it good thought, and "Decided to give in—right7 Goodt" He sounded incredibly confident. "You said something about needs—didn't you7" "Yes, yes." "Well then, there are also ways and means to fulfill them." Suddenly her voice assumed an undertone of sarcasm. "What ways and means, for instance7" he asked, impatiently. "For instance " she stopped, then said, "You are a man after all. You'll never be sensitive enough to understand any of it. So what's the use. Anyway, no matter how I say it, my answer is still—No'" "But why7" he said, sounding utterly shocked. "You mean what I said was wrong7" "Maybe not. Maybe it's as you say. But how can I forget that I'm not a mere clump of roots sunk into the dirt. That branches, too, have sprouted out above the ground. If you dig up the roots, don't you also risk killing the branches?" She said it slowly, stressing every word, feeling all the pain, and hung up. Translated by Muhammad Umar Memon Annual of Urdu Studies, ^6 98